Saturday, September 8, 2018

Making the Pieces Glow


As the Jewish year comes to a close, I would like to share a few thoughts that have been swimming around my mind for a little while.

Most of us dream of being whole - protected from the loss and pain of the world, and imagine how much better equiped to lead a good and productive life we would be without all of our baggage weighing us down.  We imagine our lives without challenges and how much better a human being we would be.  But would we? Some of the most incredible people I know have suffered more then what I imagine to be an acceptable amount of suffering. How is that possible? Perhaps those who have experienced the pain of the world on such a deep level would do anything to prevent another person from experiencing that.  Is it possible that the light and the love that comes from the broken hearted is exactly what is needed to heal the world.  Only those who have felt the pain down to their core can show someone else that they can heal.  Only those who have lost so much and are still surviving can give hope to those who are loosing so much and worried they won't survive.

We are all somewhat wounded and thankfully it is becoming increasingly acceptable to be open about it and not suffer in shame.  I think if we were aware of how broken the people we meet are, we would only have words of love and encouragement.  There is usually a good reason people are the way they are.  Some have experienced so much trauma that reality becomes too threatening of a place to function in and they either create their own reality or just numb themselves to the pain.  

So why do some people become bitter and angry and full of destructive hate, and others become a guiding light and a source of love and goodness in the world? I don't think socio-economics determine that although they may influence it.  There are people from affluent homes overdosing on drugs and others who don't have running water and build instraments out of trash and make beautiful music.  

What is it that makes one soar and another plummet? Even children in the same family experiencing the same trauma have different reactions.

I don't think there is a single answer but many contributing factors.  There is personality, and beliefs, and oppertunities that come your way that all effect your attitude. There are teachers and personal heroes you meet that inspire you to do better.

Yet there are a few big ones that can change everything.  Being connected to G-d and believing that He is a just and loving G-d is vital to navigate the sea of uncertainty.  Just knowing that there is a plan even if you don't understand it, is better then imagining that all of this is random and has no value, rhyme or reason.

Having a support system is crucial.  Family, friends, and professionals who shine their light on your path when your own light feels too weak to guide you, will help even the darkest of nights.

Perhaps the most important is love.  Experiencing a beautiful and healthy love opens your heart and mind to the beauty and the potential of the world and our existance in it. Love makes us braver and hopeful and courageous.  It encourages us to dig deeper then we ever imagined possible and find resources that we didn't know exist. Even if the future seems terrifying, love helps balance the losses.

Perhaps a change of perspective is in order for the new year.  Being broken hearted and feeling utterly broken may be the biggest gift ever,  the love, the strength, the courage and the compassion of those who want desperately to change the tears of pain into tears of joy.  Not to be positive despite the sorrow, but to take the sorrow itself and use it to help another. Take each one of your broken pieces and see the light coming from it and embrace it.  Use your pain to paint the world beautiful.  Do it in your time and in your way. 

Of course we pray for a day where there is no pain, for a time of healing all the ills of the world. We should continue to pray for that with all of our hearts and souls until that day when our prayers are answered and our dreams are realized.  Yet, we also need to pray that we find the strength to accept ourselves as we are and recognize how much good we can do just as we are. Wether you have been scarred by cancer, or domestic abuse, or deppression, or substance abuse, or the many other painful challenges we face today, you can help someone just like you.  Not only can you help them but you are better equipped to help them because you know exactly what they are going through.  When you see someone in pain and you can help them, you must.  You must take the pain and mix it with love and compassion and help as many people as you can. I want you to know that as I write this, I am fully aware of how hard this can be and what the cost is.  Hundreds have cried on my shoulder and I never forget the stories I hear.  I come home and hide in my room and cry for you and pray for you, and then I do it again.  I am not special, I just believe with all of my heart and soul that if I can use the pain in my heart to help another, my pain has become a tool of healing. Pain on its own is so huge, there are times it can swallow you whole, but it doesn't have too. I cannot take away your pain but I can encourage you to recognize the light within the darkness, the beauty within the sorrow, and that pain cannot rule over the human spirit.  May G-d bless us all with a year of healing and of good fortune, with healthy children and loving marriages.  May G-d grant us the ability to help each other, and love each other, and use every part of our brokenness to heal our families and our communities. Shanah Tova Umetuka

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for your message. May this year see miracles and joy and only revealed for you and your family! 😘

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  2. You are the light in so many peoples lives. You are certainly that in mine

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