Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Space Between Reality and Memories

I breathe a deep somewhat disappointed sigh of relief. Purim is over and it wasn't awful. It wasn't fantastic either. Every day is a concerted effort to be positive and happy and Purim is no different in that way, oh but what was.... The joy the festivities, our Chabad house and our friends. They all weigh heavily on my heart and mind today. It is such a privilege to have a Chabad house and the Purim festivities, and being so busy and so tired you can't breath. Now we are home with too much time. Our home is far away from where our hearts are. We have so many new friends, but what about our before friends? The ones who we loved and the ones who loved us when we were just us. The space between reality and memory are ever growing. This is the fifth Purim since our lives changed. It is harder and harder to be positive and upbeat. It is these days, the ones where it is a Mitzvah to be happy that I find so challenging. The days that were defined by the energy of Yitzi, that I miss so much. Let's just hope the Mitzvah of being happy is counted by the minute and not the day. Perhaps then we did alright. 

9 comments:

  1. So many of us get strength and courage from you. I was touched and changed many years ago by the Light and Emunah the two of you so generously shared. You and Yitzi are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Dina - you are an inspiration. Please stay positive! Minutes count too 💕

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  4. Happiness may well be counted by the second.

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  5. NO words...Just that Moshiach should come NOW, & your beloved husband should have a Refuah Shelaima MAMMOSH! You are an INSPIRATION! May Hashem give strength to you BOTH! EVERY blessing!!!❤

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  6. Hashem does count and credit each moment of simcha that we are able to share with our disabled loved ones. Moshiach will arrive any moment and you, Yitzi and your children will dance along with Abbie and her three beautiful children. Ad Mosai!

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  7. It's ok to have a not positive moment....as long as you don't stay in that moment. HaShem should bentch you with revealed good speedily...

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